‘Is our emotional and spiritual health in balance?’ by Owen Lynch, 5 January 2025
Does this new year feel light and joyful, or have we loaded ourselves up with burdens? Owen Lynch looks at how spiritual and emotional health are important to us and need to be kept in balance. Jesus criticised religious leaders who brought loads of expectation which they could not carry themselves, and offered a better way of life.
Have we taken up Jesus’ offer? Maybe we can tell by asking if our faith life is making us weary, judgmental, unapproachable and inauthentic, when it could be lightening our hearts, making us more open minded, hospitable and authentic instead.
Transcript
Happy New Year!! It’s that time of the year when some people make New Year Resolutions and resolve to make new habits that bring life to themselves and their families.
One habit that I have exercised intermittently during my adult life is the habit of reflection. I have a busy life and so can find myself moving from one thing to the next without taking the time to reflect on my thoughts and feelings.
So I have a journal app on my phone that I use to reflect and pray on a daily basis. Only I sometimes go several days without opening the app because I’m too busy. So to help with that I also reflect with two other people - Rick Watts and Kevin Lark usually on a fortnightly basis. We have been doing this for almost four years now and whilst none of us is an expert counsellor, we help each other reflect and make healthy choices.
Before we meet on zoom, we text each other the answers to four questions:
How have we leaned into the commitment that we made at the end of the last session?
How have we been emotionally triggered since the last session?
Where is God getting our attention since the last session?
What are we wanting to lean into between now and the next session?
We then get ten minutes when one of the other two ask us to expand on our answers and ask the important question - Why!
We have one rule, we can’t offer our advice to each other. We just get to listen to each other and ask the question “why”.
It’s so helpful and we all end up reflecting on our thoughts, feelings and behaviour in ways that we would never do if we didn’t do this! It is so good for our mental and emotional health, and hopefully really good for our relationships with our family and friends as well.
If you don’t have ways of reflecting regularly can I encourage you to find two other people you can trust and start to do this on a regular basis during 2025?
Now how many of us are part of Severn because we care about our spiritual health? I have this idea that our spiritual health cannot outpace our emotional health. So by implication if we attend to our emotional health, then our spiritual health will improve automatically.
That might seem to be debatable, but the reality is that one could argue that there is no difference between our emotional and spiritual health. When Jesus talked about spiritual health, he seemed to be saying that our spiritual health is measured in the way we treat other people rather than our commitment to spiritual disciplines!
In contrast, I wonder if many Christians think that their spiritual health is measured by their ability to maintain spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible Study, Church attendance etc. So I might ask you how you’re doing spiritually and you may respond “not so well, because you haven’t read the Bible recently or not prayed for ages”. But that could be confusing the “what” with the “why”.
The “what” of spiritual health is indeed habits that should help us connect more with God - things like prayer, understanding the Bible, fasting, solitude; and things that help us engage with other people like friendship, partying and serving one another.
The “why” of spiritual health is to live in vital and intimate relationship with our divine creator and with those people in our lives.
Why do we practice spiritual habits or disciplines? So, that we can become more aware of the presence of God in our inner being; and so that we can live in relationships of trust and love with other people.
Perhaps we are most peaceful and joyful when our emotional health and spiritual health are in good balance. I have heard it said that perhaps we are most peaceful and joyful when our conscious brain is in balance with our subconscious brain. Perhaps we are most peaceful and joyful when we can feel our place in the divine order of life?
Let’s see if we can find some insight and wisdom from Jesus in Matthew 23.
Here we see Jesus challenging the religious piety of the Jewish elders and Pharisees:
1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.
Jesus is suggesting that their emotional and spiritual health is not in balance. Here are some questions Jesus might ask of us as he did the Pharisees:
1. Am I weary? Matt 23:4
They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
Are there any spiritual habits or rhythms in your life that are heavy and cumbersome? Can I ask you why do you do them?
If you can’t explain why you continue to practise that habit or rhythm, then maybe you need to stop doing it, otherwise it could become meaningless.
I am utterly convinced that every person needs emotional and spiritual habits and rhythms to remain healthy. But those rhythms and habits will need to change from time to time, otherwise they will become heavy and cumbersome.
Reflect and ask yourself - why do I pray, why do I fast, why do I practise generosity and hospitality, why do I read spiritual books, why do I live in a community house, why do I serve on a team, why do I volunteer with a charity, why do I attend large or small gatherings of the church, why do I sing songs to worship, why do I sit in silence, why do I paint or sculpt?
If a church is a community that shares common spiritual and emotional rhythms and habits - what are the spiritual rhythms and habits of Severn and why do we do them?
This new year, it is time to reflect and maybe stop some spiritual habits that are heavy and cumbersome and start some new ones that are light and easy! It was Jesus who said in Matthew 11:28-30,
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
2. Am I judgmental? Matt 23:5-6
5 “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honour at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues;
Phylacteries and tassels were items of clothing worn by Jewish men, because the law of Moses required them to.
Jesus himself worn tassels [check Mark 6:56 or Matt 9:20] so he wasn’t criticising this spiritual habit - but his point is that the religious leaders make a big show of their adherence to the law. They were proud of their observation of the law, they made it clear that they kept all aspects of the law and were judgmental of those who didn’t.
Homer Simpson asked his neighbour Ned Flanders - a devout evangelical Christian where he had been for the weekend, Ned replied, “We went away to a Christian camp. We were learning how to be more judgmental.”
The reason we must know “why” we have a spiritual habit or rhythm is that without it we rapidly become proud of our effort and judgmental of other people.
It is better to stop doing that habit or rhythm than to become proud of yourself and judgmental of others. Or in Jesus’ more evocative
words in Matthew 5:29,
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.
So reflect and ask yourself - is there anything you are doing to improve your spiritual and emotional health, that is in reality making you proud and judgmental. Do you find yourself quietly judging other people who you think are not reading their Bible, praying, or serving as much as you? Would your neighbours and colleagues think of you as judgmental? Why is that?
3. Am I approachable? Matt 23:7-8
7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. 8 ‘But you are not to be called “Rabbi”, for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers.
In Jesus’ day, Rabbi’s and Priests generally steered clear people who they considered to be diseased or sinful; and this special group of people included lepers, prostitutes and tax collectors! Contact with these people was considered to make Rabbis and Priests ritually unclean. So you could say that they were standoffish and unapproachable.
Jesus never hid his contempt for the arrogance of the Rabbi’s and Priests and insisted that,
23: 12 those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
In contrast, Jesus was a man of the people. He physically and emotionally embraced the diseased and those who were considered sinful. The Rabbi’s and Priests were astonished by this and could not understand why Jesus didn’t keep his distance [check Mark 2:16]. He was often criticised for eating, drinking alcohol and generally having a good time. Jesus was not a Christian Puritan!
I think Jesus enjoyed himself and was more relaxed with the diseased and sinful than with the religious people.
Here’s the weird thing, Christians are often perceived as boring, judgmental and unapproachable, either uninvited or on the edge of a party, and the first to leave! Whereas Jesus was always getting invited to parties and was the life and soul of the party. Funny that isn’t it?
As you reflect, is there anything about your spiritual habits or attitudes that makes you less approachable? Do your neighbours and colleagues find it easy to be friends with you? If not, why not?
4. Am I authentic? Matthew 23:25-28
25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Jesus criticised the Rabbi’s and the Priests for their lack of authenticity and integrity.
I’m not talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve, we are not all extraverts, although we do tend to be drawn to people who are honest about their feelings right? I’m talking about being the same person inwardly as we are outwardly.
That requires courage, because let’s be honest none of us are perfect!
We all love someone who is willing to be vulnerable and humble about their struggles, suffering and shortcomings.
The winners of reality TV shows are the ones who connect with the viewers by being vulnerable and humble about their shortcomings, struggles and suffering.
For those of us who work really hard to obey the rules to earn approval, it’s really frustrating when people who are open about their failures win the prize!
Jesus told a story about two brothers, one of whom wasted his life on sex, drugs and rock’n’roll, whilst the other obeyed the rules and stayed at home to run the family business. Jesus said that (Luke 15:7)
there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
Bizarrely, evangelical Christians are encouraged to hide their failings, rather than be honest about them. This lack of integrity and authenticity is the opposite of what Jesus meant and was the basis for his criticism of the Pharisees.
So as we reflect, perhaps we should ask ourselves - how authentic are we?
From time to time we are all unloving, unkind, bitter, impatient, rotten, unfaithful, harsh and bad tempered! So why don’t we just be honest about it, rather than try and hide it?
How refreshing would it be for Christians to be known as people who are honest about their failings, rather than trying to hard to be good and holy whilst hiding their brokenness?
Friends, like every religion, Christianity has the potential to turn anyone into a Pharisee. But as we reflect on Jesus’ words to the Pharisees, we can see that that was never his intention and he urges everyone to guard against becoming like that.
So as we begin this new year, here’s four questions to reflect on as we think about our emotional and spiritual health.
Is our Christianity making us:
Weary?
Judgemental?
Unapproachable?
Inauthentic?
Or is our Christianity making us:
Lighthearted?
Open minded?
Hospitable?
Authentic?
If Jesus was lighthearted, open minded, hospitable and authentic, why would be settle for anything less?
Is our emotional and spiritual health in balance?